


the missing piece

by voltaggia



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, merriline, rarepair tiiime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:35:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23221843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voltaggia/pseuds/voltaggia
Summary: "Aveline noticed the Eluvian in the other room, now fixed and much clearer than it was years before, and walked in. "You fixed it." the knight-commander commented, standing at the doorway while Merrill stood in front of it. She must still be grieving, Aveline thought, watching her."I did.""What do you see in it?""My reflection? You? You're standing in it, too." Merrill monologued, raising an eyebrow."
Relationships: Merrill/Aveline Vallen
Kudos: 2





	the missing piece

Merrill felt unsatisfied. Uncertain. Maybe even guilty.

With the arulin'holm, her tomes, even her blood in some cases, and with all the years she spent on it, she'd recently managed to finally fix it to a workable level. She felt proud at first, overjoyed, but as the days passed and the pride faded, Merrill's emotions went downhill.

Keeper Marethari had been dead for a little over five years now, as well as the clan she once belonged to. With time, Isabela and Hawke sailed off to who knew where, Fenris was nowhere to be found, Anders had disappeared as well, Bethany replaced Orsino as the new First Enchanter and used part of the old templar hall for her space (while keeping the estate for her sister and occasionally returning), Varric was the new Viscount and Aveline was the new Knight-Commander, using the other half of the hall.

Merrill, for some unknown reason, stayed in her home in the Alienage. She felt as if she belonged there still, helping the other elves, tending to the area with Varric's help and was to stay there doing busy work. It was like she was glued to the ground there.

Even with some of her friends still in Kirkwall, she felt lonely. There were homes being built where the ruined Chantry once was thanks to Varric, and while everyone else had taken advantage of this, she hadn't just yet. She could barely step into Hightown for anything other than shopping purposes without dashing back to the Alienage. She didn't know exactly why.

Merrill would stare at her door, waiting for a quest to embark on, or would sit out by the docks waiting for Isabela and Hawke to turn up again. She would go to the Hanged Man, and would wait at an empty table as if Varric would come downstairs with a deck of Wicked Grace cards, as well as his doomed coin purse, if Isabela was in the game.

She missed running about with her staff, blasting all sorts of nasty creatures with Hawke and her band, even missed the sound of Aveline and Isabela bickering about who knew what, the guard captain calling the pirate all sorts of colorful names while the pirate simply laughed and spat. She even missed Fenris's rude remarks about her magical abilities, and Anders's stories made to make her feel terrible for things she couldn't help with.

Merrill felt lonely.

\------

Sitting at her desk, Aveline sighed as one of her new templars finally left, after a solid half an hour of briefing and nodding. When they closed the door behind them, she stood up and stretched, before deciding to take a second to do some self-care, as it was nearly sundown and there couldn't be any other immediate tasks she had to tend to. It had been a long, mostly uneventful day.

She'd seen Bethany twice earlier, they shared some small conversations, about how their lives were currently going and what they were both doing. Considering she was working alongside a friend who'd witnessed and been a part of the final fight, their groups were doing quite well. In fact, the templars seemed to be taking a liking to the ways of the new First Enchanter, as the younger Hawke very often resorted to calmer methods of speaking her mind.

She'd seen Varric once just a couple of hours ago, and they'd talked about his latest works. What he had was certainly in thicker books, and the duo even laughed and joked about the correlation between the guard captain in "Swords and Shields" and the guard captain of Kirkwall at the time. Donnic had taken up the guard captain position, and even though they never spoke again after the attempts they made to get romantically involved, Aveline still told Varric to play nice and not bash the poor man in his works.

Making her way to her quarters, the knight-commander started by locking her door and taking off piece by piece of her armor. Her back ached from leaning forward while she sat, while her feet ached from her boots and their unsupported arches.

She washed up and dried off, rubbing lotion on her hands after she got changed into more casual clothes. Letting her hair down, she took her brush off of her dresser and started to run it through her autumn hair. However, just as she had reached the left side of her head, she hit a rather painful knot towards the bottom, tugging on the brush to try to free it unsuccessfully. Had she really not brushed her hair in that long?

Sighing, Aveline went towards her mirror, looking at it and trying to find the stubborn little piece. She raked her fingers through various parts, before finding the piece and wincing as she pulled the knot apart. Continuing on, she took the brush and kept working it through, watching the mirror as she did so just in case there was another knot. 

An old conversation slowly resurfaced among her thoughts while she did so.

_ "Aveline, what do you see in your mirror?" _

The knight-commander worked out another piece.

_ "A warrior. A wife. All the mistakes I made to get here and make it right. Why? What have you decided to see?" _

_ "Sometimes it's hard to tell. Cracks, mostly. Could I borrow yours sometime, if that's alright?" _

_ "It's alright." _

When Aveline heard that specific line in her monologue, she froze. Someone wanted to borrow her mirror. A friend wanted to borrow her mirror, one of Hawke's companions. They had one, too, but it was broken, and they were fixing it for some reason. They were always so self conscious, talkative, naïve, always rambled about the simplest things-

_ Merrill. _

She'd completely forgotten about Merrill. Aveline saw Varric the day after he became Viscount, been there the day Bethany was declared the new First Enchanter, threw one last insult and warning at Isabela and said goodbye as she set sail with Hawke, looked through Fenris's mansion for any suspicious activity or slavers after he left, and searched for Anders to give him a warning not to threaten her city again- but Aveline had completely forgotten about Merrill.

She knew she'd forgotten someone in all of the events following the final fight.

_ "Is it a lot of fun being a guard?" _

_ "I don't think the city guard is right for you, Merrill." _

_ "I've read all about it in Varric's guard series! I could be your partner! We could fight crime together!" _

_ "Guards don't have partners. Not like he says, anyway." _

_ "That's why you need me! Oh! We could get matching outfits!" _

_ "All guards have matching outfits." _

_ "But ours would be matching-est!" _

Putting on a simpler set of armor that still represented her rank, the knight-commander grabbed her sword and shield before setting out to the Alienage.

\------

Reading a miscellaneous book of Dalish history, Merrill sat on a large cushion in front of her fireplace. She thought she heard a strong knock on the door, but disregarded it the first few times. It was probably just another one of her moments, where she thought someone was there when nobody was.

However, when she heard a lower voice, similar to a guard's, call her name outside of the door and the knocks continued, she got up quickly and grabbed her staff. Slowly, she approached the door before readying herself and opening it carefully, expecting someone to come barreling in.

But when she saw an all too familiar face at the door, Merrill went wide-eyed. "A-Aveline?" she stuttered, before stepping back and letting the knight-commander in. The blood mage close the door behind her, rubbing the back of her neck. "You still live here. Varric's got houses where the Chantry was now, you know."

The blood mage sighed. "I-I know, but I… I can't leave, I don't know why. It's like I'm waiting for something to come up." the elf tried to explain, looking at the fireplace. Aveline noticed the Eluvian in the other room, now fixed and much clearer than it was years before, and walked in. "You fixed it." the knight-commander commented, standing at the doorway while Merrill stood in front of it.  _ She must still be grieving, _ Aveline thought, watching her.

"I did."

"What do you see in it?"

"My reflection? You? You're standing in it, too." Merrill monologued, raising an eyebrow. 

"That's it? Well, let me tell you what I see." The knight-commander stood beside her, thinking.

"Let's see here… I see a Dalish mage, nervous and surprised as a band of humans approached her, not knowing what to do. She's got the brightest green eyes, the prettiest complexion, the habit of rambling on and on. Then she lost someone. That someone turns into a big clan, a family, if you could call it that. But they weren't very kind to her when she went off to do something she felt was best for her."

Merrill frowns slightly, and Aveline brushes a few stray locks of jet hair out of her face before continuing.

"A few years passed, and she made some good friends, comforted one of them after they lost a mother to blood magic and a sister was whisked away to the Circle. She was a little less rambly and a little more quiet, and when she talked, she was riddled with worry. You could see it when there would be dark circles under her eyes every now and then, and she didn't quite frolic about as much as she did before."

She's looking at Aveline's reflection in the mirror now, starting to understand.

"One war ended and another started, and little did she know, that was the last. When her and her friends; her and her real family won the last, she thought there would be more. But she waited. And waited. And waited. Some of her friends started leaving. Some went off to unknown locations, while others went up the social ladder. She found herself getting tired of waiting, and starting to want physical company like the kind she had before. Little did she know, someone felt the same way."

Aveline looked at Merrill now, a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I know I'm all the way in Hightown with Bethany and Varric, and they're often times busy, but please, come to the hall sometime, or at least send me a raven. I miss you and your little tangents. And I'd like if we could get a drink at the Hanged Man tomorrow, if possible. I get done with my busy work pretty ea-"

The knight-commander was cut off as the blood mage hugged her tightly. "...Thank you, Aveline. I'll be sure to at least try to come by tomorrow, so help me Creators if I don't."


End file.
